Spark the revival

I spent last night in Charlotte as a Jesus culture concert. Aside from a few songs here and there, I didn't know much about the group. My sister goes to school a couple hours away though, so I don't see her much and she asked me to go with her. An easy yes, obviously. I had no clue what I was getting into...
The night opened with some music the noir speaker came out on stage. The uppity, California funny guy rubbed me the wrong way immediately and I found myself wondering how I'd make it through this. After 5 minutes I was hooked and my attention was on him wholly, and in turn, on God. He spoke about using a spark to start a revival and it really made me think about our job as Christians, and what we do, compared to what we could do. A lot of time we may sit back and live our private Christian lives but when we get back to our school, workplace, hangout spots, we fade from that. It's uncomfortable to be in that situation and be the light shining in the darkness. You know what though? Sometimes God takes us out of our comfort zone to do great things. He took Moses way out of his comfort zone as Moses led people through wilderness for 40 years! And the guy was 80, when he left! I'm 24 and I would've quit immediately. He didn't quit though.
A lot of times we say to ourselves, were just one person, what can we do? That's not true at all. You may be one human, but a man that is carrying out Gods will can not be stopped. Problem is for whatever reason we aren't ready to carry that will out. The world is a dark place and humans by nature fear what can't be seen. Is it just a coincidence then that God tells us that Christians ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD?? Light beats dark every single time. We see it every day. It just takes a little bit. One little spark can light a whole forest fire. So where is the spark going to come from? We need to want it. So I challenge you to light that spark. Be fired up, and let it be known. You'll be amazed at the effects it could have
I love you all

Preaching isn't normally my thing, as this is kind of a personal blog. God laid that on my heart though, and that's aww job, to share. Those words are Gods words, I just write them down.

God going to work

I'm going to start out by explaining my complete disdain for the month of April. While it provides us with the beginning of the nba playoffs, that's generally the only positive for me. It starts to get incredibly hot out (went from highs of 50s to 80s in like 2 weeks), it has the nfl draft which just is a tease, final exams, allergy season, beach season where you realize you really aren't ready. There's many more things, the point is I just really don't like it. At all.
Then April 2013 happened. In 10 days, I've finally bought a car after what seemed like forever, I've met an incredible girl, I've picked my bible up and truly studied for the first time in a long time, I have a renewed interest in school, and am actually taking my future serious, instead of just as another day down the road.
The last few months have been looking up in general, but this one has really stood out for me. Hoping I can finish it strong and transition well into next month, and so on over time.

Side note for the people that read to keep up with my lifting and body transformation, I've hit a weight loss plateau at 285. Bumping up and down right around there, but gaining a ton of mass and strength, so I guess I'm ok with that for now. Planning on starting to do a cutting phase in may and see what happens there.

Thanks as always for reading, leave comments if you want, suggestions, anything really. Especially if it's suggestions on how to break that plateau!

More than a memory

I recently read one of my friends blogs and posted the story of how she met her boyfriend. Within the story she referenced many different memories that were impactful to her. It got me thinking what do memories really mean to us?
It's amazing how a small, minute detail for most people can trigger some of the strongest memories, and emotions, for others. Whether its eating animal crackers that reminds me of junior church, chewing pink extra bubble gum that reminds me of a kiss shared with that pretty blonde girl at church summer camp, extra salty popcorn that takes me back to a movie seen with a very special person, seeing a movie about a Greek god that reminds me of people's reaction everytime I take my shirt off at the beach. It's just constant. Sometimes the memories are much bigger. Every time I step in a weight room it takes me back to high school and training for competition with some of my best friends. Out of those guys I really only talk to one of them, Brian, who is one of my two best friends. It's a good memory, but does it help or hinder my progress in life?
I guess my thought process is what should we do with memories? Draw back on them when they're helpful and try to tuck the bad ones away deep down? Would life be easier without memory? If I tried to do something and fail, am I anymore likely to be successful the next time if I do or don't remember?

What are you thoughts on this? Please comment. I'm sorry this is unorganized. Literally thoughts being spewed into print, not one of the better entries but I hope it's thought provoking and I really hope it draws your thoughts and commentary as well :)

Also, down another 10 pounds. Whoop whoop

Revival

             Heeeeellllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooo.   Anytime a post starts out with a Seinfeld mention, you know its gonna be gold, Jerry! OK enough of that. It's been a while since I've posted, over a year apparently. Over the last couple weeks I've had several people suggest I should begin writing again, so you can thank/scold them I suppose.
     I titled this "Revival" because that's exactly what I'm trying to do right now, revive myself. My body, my finances, my relationships, and most importantly my mind and soul. It seems like life kind of snuck up on me, and instead of sitting down, looking at the big picture and controlling it, it has controlled me. It's mean, it's rude, and I don't like it. Just kidding! but only kind of...  So I'm trying to take control. You get knocked down 10 times, you stand up 11, right? That's what I hear. Not getting into details about most things, but I do want to let everyone know how much I appreciate them. There has been very few people in my life that have absolutely snubbed me and pushed me away, even though there's been plenty I've done that to. So again, thank you. Enough of the mushy, let's talk goals. Again.... a year later.

     Surprise! I'm still fat. I'm ashamed , but not afraid, to say that I currently weigh 295 pounds. To put that into perspective, that's 40 more pounds than Lebron (allegedly), 20 less than shaq (with 10 less inches) and about where warren sapp finished his career I believe. Don't get me wrong, I don't look like Sapp. I carry it relatively well and people can't believe the weight when I tell them, but my knees and ankles assure them I'm not liar. I've tried to get it under control, but have been going at it with the wrong though process. I've always said to myself, you're pathetic. What happened to the 6 pack, 1 chin, jawbones....hair?! Well, let's face it, I'm not 16 anymore. While I would absolutely love to have all the above things again, I'm much more focused on my health now. With the advice and help of a friend, I started running today. It sucked. It's 29 degrees out, I'm a large person, and I haven't consistently ran in probably 6 years. All of this smacked me in the face quickly tonight. Guess what though, I finished it! While it was only 20 minutes, and only 1.54 miles, it was 20 minutes and 1.54 more miles than it was yesterday. It will be another 20 minutes tomorrow, and the next day and so on. I signed up for a 5k in march, and I ordered an xl tank top from amazon. As silly as that sounds, that date circled on my calender, and that shirt that looks ridiculous right now are motivators and as long as I see them, I will stay strong.

This post hasn't had much direction, as I didn't really intend to write tonight. I'll leave with this though. In the new Robin Hood movie, Russel Crowe makes a nice big speech that he ends with, we will rise and rise again, until lambs become lions. The last 5 years that phrase has stuck with me, and I intend to put it to heart. I don't know about you, but being a Lion sounds pretty dang cool. Ask Simba...



Special thanks to my family, Brian, Alex,Jenn, and Jack. You guys all keep me going and most of the time don't know about it.

Obedience

     What a difference a week makes. I've had a complete 180 degree turn of attitude and emotion. I went from feeling extremely down and scared, to being completely lifted up. So why the change? It's just faith and perspective.
    I talked to someone last week and my last post come up in the subject. I asked her how she felt about the blog, she said for the most part she enjoyed it, but asked if she offer one small critique. Of course I accepted, after all I'm forcing my opinions on you all each and every post, I have to be ready for response. Being who this was, and this isn't a bad thing, I was expecting a grammar correction, or sentence structure or something along the lines. Thankfully that isn't what I got at all. She asked a simple question that did not get met with a simple answer. "Where is God?"
    I sat there and tried to come up with excuse after excuse and it actually took long enough that she thought she offended me and quickly apologized. It turns out that no matter what reason/excuse I could come up with, the ultimate reason that God wasn't in my writing is that God wasn't in my life. What a sad realization that was for me. This isn't a person I talk to everyday, as a matter of fact it had been quite a while, and within 10 min of talking to me, with reading 5 entries of what I wrote she could tell something was off.  So I looked into my heart and realized that I had turned against God. I wasn't denying him, but I certainly wasn't pursuing him. I was choosing other things, other people to lean on to get me through the trials, but if you have the Lord by your side what trials could possibly bring you down?
    There is a passage in the Bible about Moses crossing the desert with his people. Many of you know this story, some will not. Moses took his people, who is said to have been in excess of 600,000 fighting men, which means possibly over 2 million total, and was to cross the desert to Judah. God gave Moses a path to follow however they strayed from this path. People were stubborn, ignorant, disobedient and overall lacked faith. This trip could have been completed in a week, instead it took 40 years. All because people wanted to do things their own way.
    I'm tired of doing things my own way. I'm tired of taking on all the challenges set before me on my own. If God has planned a particular storm for me to go through, then who am I to question that?? I will lean on him, and he will lead me to where he wants me to be. I want to challenge all of you to look into your own lives. Are you on a 40 year path or a 1 week path?
   

This has pretty much gone away from a workout blog, mostly because I can't workout lol Update on the ear is there is no update. Still messed up. Doctor appointment is set for thursday so we shall see.

If  I've said something that has caught your attention, please talk to me about it. If you didn't know the above story, feel free to text or call or fb message or twitter me. Send me an email, a postcard, steal harry potters owl if you need to, just get with me and we can talk so much more

I hope you all enjoy the rest of your week

Pursuit of Happiness

"Happiness is acceptance."-Anonymous 

    No matter what your role in this world, your profession, your situation, the size of your family, the size of your wallet, everybody shares a common goal. You can go to work, go to school, go to an nfl arena but at the end of the day you just want to be happy. We are all stuck in the pursuit of happiness. However, like everything else we pursue, we have to know what happiness means to be able to achieve it. I asked what happiness meant to people I know. 

"Seeing my family happy and spending time with them is what truly makes me happy"

"Seeing the ones I love"

"All the little things put together make me happy"

"Happiness is the art of wanting what you have, not wanting to have something"

     Amazing answers, that's just a sample. I wanted to stop at that last one because it smacked me right in the face. HARD. We just had thanksgiving, and in my last post I mentioned enjoying what you have and not what you don't. I don't like change personally. Unfortunately in my life, like everyone else's, it seems like change can't find me quick enough. I try to do everything I can to help out people that I care about, people that I love. It's how I was raised. It's led me to heartbreak, financial stress, living completely out of my comfort zone. I rarely stop and think about what makes me happy. 

    It turns out nobody can make you as happy as you can make yourself. People come and go, money and material belongings come and go, the one thing you are stuck with every day of your life is yourself and if you aren't making yourself happy then nobody can. Is it a lot easier with someone else? Absolutely  Does it make everything feel better having someone to share with? You bet. Is life easier with plenty of money? I don't know the answer to that, may not ever, but I'm guessing yes. But you know what? When it comes down to it that person won't always be there, that wallet or credit card may not be in your back pocket. You have yourself and whatever you believe in. 

    I haven't been happy lately. I'm extremely unhappy tonight, which is why I guess I decided to write. It helps to write things down and be able to read how you feel. Too bad all of life can't just be written down. There's no workout scheduled for this post. No training update. I'm still sick, have about 40% hearing in my left ear and about 60% in my right ear. I haven't heard anything from the fire department which leads me to think I didn't advance. I lost something very important to me, and I'm extremely angry about it, even though I promised never to be like this again. So is happiness for everyone? I don't know. It takes a lot more for some people than others I guess. Happiness could be around the corner, could be a city over, it could be 3 hours away, or it could be right in front of you. You never know. What you do know is that it can always be inside of you. Just have to let it.

     

Failure. Hope. Perseverance

Ladies and Gentleman, children of all ages, and the millions reading around the world, (ok maybe like 10-15 of you), ARE YOU READY TO FAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL?

   Pretty stupid question right? Who actually asks themselves if they are ready to falter at what they are trying to attain. We do of course, every single day. It's human nature to doubt. It's human nature to fail. What is not human nature is to have the drive and tenacity to look at that failure, see what went wrong, and keep working so that you aren't in that position again.  

   I'm a large person. About 6'2 277 pounds, (thats right down another 3 baby!), so when I was laying down for sleep last night planning out the millions of things I plan to do today, after winning a million dollars on a scratch off I wanted to walk/jog/run/crawl if need be 5 miles total. I hate running. I would rather simulate all 22 saw movies and be the victim than to move my body 5 miles at any time. So this task was about as likely to happen as the million dollar scratch off. I went and saw a movie and when I got back, I decided I was not going to fail. I didn't care how long it took, how tired I was, I was getting my 5 miles. 1 hour and 11 minutes later, I did it. 5 miles in the beautiful mountains of Westfield, NC sucks. There is no flat land. I still overcame it, because I had faith in myself, and I knew I could persevere.

   No matter what we are going through in life, someone has done it before. They had two options, they could fail and become part of the millions that fail every day. Or they could work through it, show nothing can break you, and give hope to anyone and everyone watching. 

    Imagine if people just gave up everytime there was a problem. Alan, Stu, and Phil would have never found Doug, the right Doug not the black doug. Dancing would have never been restored in the Footloose movie.  Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan would never have ended up together in Sleepless in Seattle. Danny O'shea would have never beat Kevin O'shea in the race down Cherry Hill. Robin Hood, God forbid, would've never got Maid Marian and I would not have a favorite movie ever. And that's cartoon, don't come at me with the real stuff.  

   The point of my rambling is that there is always hope. You can fail 9 times out of 10. Who cares. We weren't meant to be perfect. Women screwed that up by not resisting to eat a fruit from a tree, so thanks for that guys. Next time you're stuck in a bind, next time you think you're in a situation that you can do nothing about because you are too limited or whatever the excuse that you are conjuring up is, just remember someone has been there. They've done it and you can to. 

Persevere

I have a big day tomorrow. I'm taking my second to final step for the fire department entrance, hanging out with someone that's pretty cool during the day, then have a big workout at night. Any prayers that are said will be appreciated. If any of you guys set any goals after reading that blog, please share them! This should be a community setting, not just me babbling. I'm aware that some comments weren't able to be left, I'm sorry about that. I don't know what happened but hopefully it's fixed. If not, feel free to hit me up on facebook.

I took the weekend off for Cardio work, tomorrow is back to the Heavy stuff. Squats, Deadlifts, Bench, Good mornings, and more cardio! 2 lbs a week of weight loss while improving my numbers is the goal. Ultimately I'll stop the weight loss if its affecting my progress. 

Hope everyone has a good week. I will update my progress once again soon.